In this collaborative world learning to collaborate as an introvert takes some work and understanding.
As I was growing up in Eastern North Carolina, I understood the values of the south: speak when spoken to, do not talk over adults, appearance matters, etc. My personality has been shaped by these experiences, and I like that I am an introvert. I have been writing a lot about introversion lately, and I think about how students in the world who need some silence to recharge, and I think about my own journey. As an adult working in schools and school systems, I have had to learn to cope, and it is not a bad thing, but it has had to be intentional on my part. So, what have I had to do and what advice do I offer others??
Understand yourself: I know that I need alone time and I know how I process information, so I have to own that, and I am transparent about it. I have told people before that I need time to process and explain why I need the time. Transparency is always good. I do not want people to interpret that I am standoffish, but that I need the time to process. Introversion is a way of being. Understanding myself helps me regulate how to navigate different situations. There are times when I have to be "on" and so I can prepare for that mentally. Understanding how I process helps me adapt.
Find time to recharge and re-center: This one has gotten harder as I have gotten older. So much of our time is taken being connected with something or someone. We introverts actually like email and social media because it is a way to stay connected without having to connect with people. This does not mean that we are misanthropes, but it just takes energy to interact with people, particularly if it is something that may not require interaction. So, I have to take time to recenter. I spend about an hour before going to sleep to process the day, and sometimes I even have conversations with myself. I try to find time at least once a week to go to lunch alone or be alone at lunch. In a collaborative workspace, I may stay at my desk and listen to music and have lunch. Admittedly, this was the hardest (impossible) thing to do in a school, but I always tried to find time to close the door even for 15 minutes and recenter. Truthfully, during the little down time I had in schools I would use a bathroom break to recenter. I will say that I often went to the faculty restroom and just stood in there and processed. (Sounds crazy, but it worked). Driving time for me is golden. When I drive alone, it gives me time to process--unless the traffic intrudes, which it may, but I have learned to enjoy the traffic as it slows me and gives me more time to think-sometimes.
Understand the "other side": It is also important to understand how others process information and social situations. Here, I am thinking about how adults work in schools and systems. Most conflict comes from lack of understanding, I think.
When I have understanding of others I know what to expect. For example, if I have a colleague that I know is a extrovert or who processes outwardly, I have more understanding when he or she does that. Often when I work with educators, I see them "filling in the blanks" sometimes when there is lack of understanding when working with other adults: He is disengaged and does not care when He is processing internally and thinking. Or She just wants attention and wants to take over when She is outwardly processing and has the need to organize information. This is not to say that sometimes people are disengaged or need to pipe down, but we need to be able to tune in and work with understanding how others process. This aspect to me is the biggest reason why some teams do not function at a high level, particularly school teams. When we have an understanding, we are able to put processes in place to honor all in the team (See my other post, Musings of an Introvert, Part II) We spend a lot of time when we are working with kids to understand how they process information and learn, but spend virtually no time in our professional teams learning about how each of us in the team learns. This is critical to team success! I need to know how to help my team members when they are processing. Otherwise, we create stories to fill in the blanks.
Work within your zone of understanding: I am most productive--we all are-- when we work in our own zones. For me, this is in the arena of facilitating learning. When I told the story in another post about being terrified to teach, I overcame that fear by having a nexus of knowledge. I knew that when I went into the classroom to teach, I likely own the core knowledge, so I feel confident and that boosts my efficacy. Of course, over the years, you have to adapt to all of this with learning to cope in threatening situations. For me, that means when I am in a situation that might be threatening, I have to research and prepare enough such that I hold the nexus of knowledge. Now, this is not always possible, but the more I do this, the more comfortable I am in front of groups. I will say that I still have issues in social settings, and I just know that about myself. If I am talking about education or my work and passions, I feel more comfortable, so often in social situations I try to guide the conversation to keep me in my nexus of understanding.
In this connected world, people notice when you post it or tweet it, so I have had to find ways to promote myself. This has been hard for me, but it is important for folks who may be introverted and inward to find some time to push our thoughts, ideas, and work out into the world.
Be shamelessly self-promoting: This is the one aspect that I have a really hard time with. I am not a natural self-promoter. I come from the mindset that if you are doing a good job and being effective, others will recognize it. I do think that this is true, but we are living in a society that must promote, tweet, like, share, retweet... you get the message!! I have had to learn to use these tools to promote my work and myself. In this connected world, people notice when you post it or tweet it, so I have had to find ways to promote myself. This has been hard for me, but it is important for folks who may be introverted and inward to find some time to push our thoughts, ideas, and work out into the world.
We all have a place in this world, regardless of how quiet or noisy it is...and often it is noisy, very noise. I love that we can celebrate all ways of learning and being! I hope that as we move forward, we can all recognize that the value of people is in the unique gift that each brings to the table. We must continue to find ways to celebrate and understand each other. one of my friends and colleagues, Toni Prickett, wrote recently something that struck me: "Until we take care of each other as humans 'being,' we cannot hope to make progress in any other way." That idea seems so appropriate to end with.
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