Falling in Love with Books Again...

Books have always been a love of mine growing up and in my younger years. Here is my journey with books.

Growing up I vividly remember reading books and loving books. I would spend as much time as possible in the library where I grew up and I remember the comforting feeling that books gave to me. I remember that when I was younger, my father bout a set of blue reference books. They were huge and contained so much information. I read about wars, foreign countries, presidents, and states. I loved the idea of learning.

When I was in high school, I like other students did the required readings that my teachers assigned and I have vivid memories of these primarily classics. I remember a litany of canonical texts, To Kill A Mockingbird, Of Mice and Men, The Scarlet Letter, The Great Gatsby (still a favorite), The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Romeo and Juliet, Julius Caesar, Macbeth, Crime and Punishment. I remember fondly falling in love with poetry. I devoured the writing of Robert Frost and Walt Whitman. I became a student of Thoreau and Emerson. I learned to like Emily Dickinson. Many of these books uncovered universal life themes for me: envy, greed, shame, power, race, sin, revenge... At 17, I was in love with learning. I was the kid who loved writing the research paper and doing literary analysis.

My love for writing continued, and I translated that love into a career. I went on to study English at East Carolina University. This experience opened a whole new world to me. I was so introspective and so introverted that I was not sure what to do with an English degree. I landed on teaching. I had to overcome some serious anxiety to be an English teacher because, though I love words and learning, I was not sure that I could translate that passion to others, but aside from being a starving poet, I felt that was the best path. So, I persevered. It is in college where I encountered some of the most extraordinary literature. It is here where I begrudgingly took a class on Shakespeare-- the comedies, and learned to appreciate the wit of Shakespeare. It is also here where I was able to learn about so much that I had not been exposed to in high school English class--- isn't that the reason why we go to college?

The first time I read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, I was stunned and comforted. I felt the pain and isolation with Pecola Breedlove in The Bluest Eye. I became obsessed with Alice Walker. I became equally obsessed with Toni Morrison. I discovered a jewel in Their Eyes Were Watching God, and had never read a book so poetic. I read The Joy Luck Club, The Woman Warrior. I reveled in the structural masterpieces of William Faulkner. I graduated for ECU with all the fervor and excitement in the world, armed with knowledge! I was excited to be going to impart knowledge on the youth of the world.

Teaching has a way of humbling you in many ways. There were so many lessons that I learned as young teacher and as an experienced teacher. I must say that I went through the stages of grief as a teacher. First I was in denial. There is no way that these students can't be enriched by this fantastic literature. I mean it defines life and the human experience. That did not work, so I went to anger. I became genuinely angry that students could not see the connections and the beauty in the written word. The good news is that the anger translated into finding ways to make literature relevant to students. That did not stop me from bargaining, though, trying to find some way to summons the strength and the knowledge to share this with kids, for them to see my experience and feel what I feel from these words. Of course, this all leads to a form of depression, where I truly felt that I could do no good for students and that all of the last 6 years was a waste of time. Then comes a moment of clarity, after all of this, and I learned that literature is an experience. Not all experiences are the same, so my mission as a teacher is to help kids find connections (That is a post of its own.).

I spent the rest of my career designing experiences for students so that they would be able to answer the question "Why are we reading this anyway?" I literally used this as a guiding question for the lessons that I designed. This question became an essential question for me to answer when I taught a work of literature. I saw my students connecting with All Quiet on the Western Front, Night, Things Fall Apart, and a litany of other literature. Indeed even with diversity of my students and the mandated curriculum, I was able to help kids make connections to Reverend Dimmsdale; see through the eyes of Nick Carraway; understand the journey of Huck and Jim; and journey with Janie Crawford. It was glorious, and I felt accomplished. The words of the main character in Shadowlands (CS Lewis). He says to Chadwick, "We read to know we are not alone." It is those experiences that added together makes us who we are and why we exist. I was able to help students see the connections.

As my journey continued, I went into being a high school administrator. I was ready to help others help support students and make those connections. Don't get me wrong, I loved being an administrator, and my favorite part was being able to talk to students who may or may not have made the right decisions. I was delighted to interact with teachers to help them better understand the ways to connect with students. I was blessed to spend several years in the role of curriculum and instruction, where I was able to influence teachers and their classrooms. One casualty of my administrative career was my divorce from reading deeply. From reading to understand the human experience; indeed the foundation of my identity. I did read, but that reading took the form of professional journals and about strategies to help students and teachers. I delved into a lot of stats and how-to's. I enjoy that learning, but it is not the same. At the same time my kids were born and young, so a lot of my reading was from books that rhymed and was written is single or two-syllable words.

Now, here I am in my 25th year of education, and I have had extraordinary experiences in all aspects of my professional life. Now, I find myself working in curriculum and instruction in my district. I am honored to be working in high school English Language Arts. It is indeed a full circle. I am reminded of the quote from Maya Angelou that "we begin to stop in order to begin again." Though I am in an administrative role, I am back working with English Language Arts curriculum, and able to parley all of that experience into this generation of learners. What an understatement that kids have changed so much over the years. When I began teaching, there was no Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. However, human experience has remained as a cornerstone. We are just needing to find ways again to connect with students and ask that question always, "Why are we reading this anyway?" I am so excited to be reconnecting with the written word that traces the human experience. I am so excited that I am connecting with some classics, but also with new voices like The Other Wes Moore, Swing, House Built on Ashes, The Glass Castle, Little Fires Everywhere, and many more. I am excited to be a part of this rich journey for students and teachers across our district.

Life is a journey and I am glad that I have been able to fall in love with the written word throughout my career and I am truly blessed to be able to see how words shape our shared human experience.